YearofCreativityDandJ

This week I collaged a bookmark for a friend's future birthday since I plan to give her a book. I felt a lot of creativity wanting to be expressed but felt really blocked from actually doing it which was frustrating. But, the more I draw and make stuff the more I think sort of visually and imagine difference little scenes and artistic things I want to do and that is fun!  

Let's be real, this week was terrible. I got diagnosed with a chronic illness and got seriously pulverized at work in more ways than one. How'msoever, I was very creatively productive. I am starting another felted mobile for my nephew because the one me and Ilona made for him, he loves so much and am told he babbles to the felted creatures every morning. It was really helpful to make these and meditate on my love for him. I find felting really relaxing. I also taught my friend how to use shrinky dinks. We watched Chicken run 1 and 2 and crafted one of our favorite characters. I thought everyone knew about shrinky dinks but I was wrong. I love making them!!  

I didn't have a lot of time this week so I nervously doodled this at an organizing meeting where many more new members came than usual. I was feeling lots of feelings, excitement, sadness, social anxiety - this month is a feelings soup. So I thought about these yellow roses a friend got me and Ilona for our engagement and I drew that first. I also thought about all of the bees in the backyard when it's sunny out and the gold finches that sit on the sunflowers. That all helped. I do not love this drawing but I did make a thing! And that's enough.

 Really appreciating my little family lately. Instead of doom scrolling how nice it is to breathe together. Been co-regulating with my dog and had the image of us as little bunnies in a hole together (a scene I saw in Minneapolis one Spring that was the cozest thing I've maybe ever seen).

Random ramble: This week is more of an art with journal thought.  I am Trying to take the right amount of responsibility but not too much responsibility in my teaching work.... thinking about our school measures of success which are vital to surviving capitalism (how long will that even last at this point?)... but often working on these skills with kids can end up feeling sooo production-oriented in a way that feeds this control machine inside me, our systems and everywhere that I hate. In the same ways my friends who have children are struggling to think about child rearing as there are SO many opinions about the best and most harmful things to do...it's the same with my struggle in teaching... wars of different ideologies and also little sound bytes about how to be the best educator running contrary to each other. Trying to find myself in it all and what I think how can I make my internal monologue coherent and cohesive? How can I fight the control machine and let people be thems...

I made my resolutions into a more artistic doodle project. It helps me meditate on them while I draw. It also makes it more likely I will revisit them throughout the year! I feel nervous and excited about my resolutions this year. Are there too many? Too few? I can't get a sense but time will tell...